Sometimes it’s hard to believe in Karma

Some of us are very lucky.

We have families that are the light of our lives, and we enjoy each minute of their company.

Think about how blessed you are if you are one of these lucky souls.

You see a beautiful sunset with a loved one, you smell the spring grass with your kids. Bedtime stories and wildflowers outside your window send you to sleep. The smell of Jasmine or Honeysuckle greet you in the morning.

You cuddle with your significant other as the sun rises.

And the weeks go by.

You attend your house of worship at the end of the working week, you have your family to dinner. You enjoy roast chicken and the smell of gravy. Laughter as the sun sets and a glass of white wine that sparkles like a diamond in the setting sun. Joy in the company of loved one’s.

Maybe I’m a bit morose. Every now and then I feel a tickle, a nagging feeling that my happiness is based on borrowed time, that something dark will come calling, that maybe the universe likes to balance the scales. The currency of happiness must face an opposite weight of sadness.

Does God look down and reward the good?

Or is nature completely neutral, is it just random chance that determines our fate?

These are the things that I’ve been thinking about tonight.

My daughter’s caregiver of the last 6 years collapsed into my wife’s arms this afternoon.

She has been told that her ovaries are covered with growths that might mean surgery, major surgery. She might have to have her womb removed, along with her ovaries.

She is sick, very ill and on so many drugs that she cannot be the loving, bright and happy person that I have known for so very many years.

As a man I can’t empathise, I have never given birth to a child, I don’t have a womb. I can only imagine what the fear of this operation must be like. I can only sit with my wife and pray that a second opinion will give her more hope.

This wonderful person has taken care of small children, loved them, put her arms around them, counseled parents and given hope every day that I have known her. She has comforted us all with her smile and her happiness.

And now she faces something so terrifying and life changing that I worry that she might come out of the end of this dark journey as someone changed, someone different.

I know that she’s one of the strongest people that I have ever met, that the  lives of the children that she has loved will be touched and made brighter by her guidance.

If you have the time and a good heart, please send a prayer for Natalie, the Principle of Candy Castle in Johannesburg, South Africa.

I’d really appreciate it.



2 thoughts on “Sometimes it’s hard to believe in Karma

  1. Hi Steve.

    That’s rotten news mate – prayer sent.

    You’re right in saying that we are living on borrowed time. Towards the end of last year, Fay’s dad started choking on his food now and again and eventually went to his GP to get it checked out. He was sent for scan on his throat, chest etc and came home with the results which he showed to me. He could only get an appointment with the doc in the week following so he was sitting at home with this little piece of paper, not being able to understand the diagnosis. The report said he had an ‘occurence highly suggestive of a neoplasm’ in his esophagus. Not knowing what that was, I said I would look it up on wikipedia. I’ll never forget that day as long as I live. Within seconds I learned that my father-in-law, my best friend in the whole wide world, was going to die.
    Neoplasm = tumour. A neoplasm in the esophagus = 95% likelihood of it being cancerous. Cancer of the esophagus = largely incurable and 90% chance of dying within 12 months. I had to carry this knowledge inside me for about a week, as I didn’t think it was my place to tell Alan or the family what I learned on the internet. After 9 months of absolute hell, Alan passed away in July. I watched a tough, tough man, only 56 years old, cry like a baby because of the pain.

    I’m not writing this in reference to your daughter’s caregivers situation, but more to your point about us living on borrowed time. There have been a few instances of this kind of thing in my family and everything has turned out all right. I hope the same applies to Natalie.

    • Hi,

      So sorry to hear about Fey’s Dad, my Grandfather went the same way, it’s a horrible, horrible way to leave this life.

      My heartfelt condolences to both of you.

      Be strong, be their for each other every day and this to shall pass.


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