It’s only allowed if you keep your arm straight

Do any of you follow cricket?

Good, stand well back and allow for rebounds off the furniture.

Tonight South Africa was knocked out of the ICC World Championship.

And they deserved to be. Their bowling was shoddy and their fielding was worse.

However, I must be a teensy bit critical of the winners of the game, England.

They played the better game (and this is going to get a bit complicated and technical for those of you who don’t follow people with bedmats strapped to their legs), but England were bad sports.

This shoudn’t come as any surprise to anyone who doesn’t wear a red and white jersey, after all the Brits invent sports but apparently can’t play them very well. Well, at least consistently well.

I’ve watched Rugby games where people from the Muddy Isle, missing half their teeth would congratulate the opposing winners with a gap toothed smile (and they were the more battered and bruised most of the time).

But tonight was different, apparently English cricketers don’t share a sense of fair play, unlike their rugby counterparts.

Cricket just isn’t a sport played by gentlemen anymore, well, at least not by the English.

If the opposing Captain (in this case the South African captain) is immobilised with cramp and it’s within your power to give him a break (a runner in this case in Cricket terms and I warned you that it gets a bit technical) and you’re basically winning the game, why deny the man his dignity.

Especially if he’s playing the inning’s of his life.

But no.

After being thrashed at every single game ever invented in England, the English cricketers have given up the only thing that gave them dignity; sportsmanship.

Now that they’ve set a precedent they’ll follow their nation down the funnel of mediocrity. Rugby, Cricket, Bowls, Football, Fencing, Banking, Embezzlement, Newspaper Publishing, Dental Care, The Welfare State, Rock and Roll and the corner pub. It all ends in tears and regret.

Wait. There’s Golf… No, not so much, invented by the Scots.

But at least until today the Brits could claim the higher moral ground (well, beside the banking thing, but wasn’t the Bearing’s guy Irish?).

All they’ve got now is Faulty Towers. And that might keep them at the top of the pile as far as humour is concerned. You must remember we all need someone to laugh at.

As an aside I’ve read that an Englishman would rather be accused of being bad in bed than not having a sense of humour.

Now I know why; they’re all a bunch of wankers.


PS: Thought for the day: You know that natural sponge you’ve been using in the shower?

It’s a skeleton.

Yuck. the living sponge has been gone for a while.

It’s deep sea necrophilia on a unicellular level and you’re to blame, you filthy, filthy soapy person you.

Just a thought.




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